On a Mission to Slow Down Time

Panic struck the morning I walked my son to his first day of kindergarten, drove my middle daughter to her first day of preschool, and started planning my youngest’s second birthday. Where did the time go? This rapid passage of time felt like I was lifting a heavy-weighted barbell without a spotter and getting pinned underneath. It’s not surprising that major transitional milestones like starting school would cause such an anxious, emotional response. But suddenly, I felt as though I couldn’t remember any details of my children’s lives. As if they were born one day, and at school the next. This, of course, wasn’t reality. Though, I do believe my sense of panic signaled a need for change, so I determined to find intentional ways to slow down time.

Here are four changes that helped me become more intentional with my time and attention:

Declutter Stuff

Move the TV

We have a small home. Our whole lives, besides sleeping, happen on the first floor. Between toys, and meals, and coloring, and movies, and music, and books, and puzzles, and darts, and homework, and mail, and work, and entertaining, there was little room for tranquility, even for brief moments. We determined our TV caused much of the unnecessary background noise, unnecessary fighting, unnecessary yelling and unnecessary vegging out. Relocating it to the basement released us from tensions we didn’t fully realize were present. The change did not completely eliminate our home’s chaos or magically improve our toddler’s attitudes, but it did boost our family’s engagement. Without the glaring temptation to turn on a random show or movie, we discovered our family chose conversation, creativity, reading, music and togetherness more regularly and easily.

Downsize Social Media

Last July, I took a 30-day break from social media. On day two, I remember sitting in my backyard watching the kids play and feeling like I was detoxing. I felt anxious wondering constantly what my friends and family were doing. I felt worried I would miss some fun event, festival or activity. I felt incapable of structuring my own day without first knowing the plans of others. I felt unsure of what my hands should do when not scrolling through the phone. These feelings and incompetences terrified me. I didn’t realize how addicted I’d become. After 30 days, I decided my wellbeing would greatly benefit by not returning to social media. Millions of people can effectively manage real life and social platforms together, but I simply cannot. The decision to disengage is conflicting because I miss many friends and family moments, and I’m keeping many of my moments private from them. However, in an effort to slow down and engage more presently, I had to shift my focus away from others so I could zero-in on the life happening before me.

Daily Joys

Reflecting on the day, finding a single, simple joy and writing it down is one of the best ways to pay more attention to life’s details. This daily joy practice relieves the panic of missing or not appreciating each day’s moments. Since I have regularly started recording joys, I find the seasons move slower, my coffee tastes better, my relationships seem fuller, my patience improves, and my perspective is clearer.

As I write, beautiful white flowers slowly fall to the ground from a tree in our backyard. The flowers sprouted only two weeks ago. Their blooming season went by too quickly. I wanted those amazing flowers to slow down and stay with us longer. Just like how I want my kids to stay little longer; to stop growing up so quickly. The passage of time is inevitable, which means engagement is critical. If we make room to fully experience and engage with the details and moments of our life, then we can associate time’s passing with fondness instead of panic.

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