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Hypergamy and the Gender Wars

➢Theory: Hypergamy is exacerbated by hookup culture.

With the exception of intentional delusion caused by imbibing too many Cosmo articles, EVERY woman knows that youth is beauty, and youth is fleeting. Beauty is the primary way in which a woman turns the head of a man in order to attract a mate, and so with that in mind, the following statement can be made:

From a strategic perspective, the biologically smart thing for a girl to do is use the prime years of her beauty to leverage the highest status male she can attract, and get him into a committed relationship for life. The longer she waits, the more her beauty will fade, and the fewer options she has.

But at some point in the sexual revolution of the late 60s and 70s, it was determined by second-wave feminists that — in order for a woman to become truly empowered — she should fuck like a man.

Enter the hook-up culture that exists still to this day.

What precisely was the change? Simple: women would no longer demand a relationship in exchange for sex, with the added promise that they would no longer be shamed for slutting around.

Somehow, nobody seemed to figure out that the only real long-term beneficiaries are high-status men. Under a relatively monogamous slut-shaming culture, people would generally “stay in their lane” — aka, women and men would generally date people within their league.

Generally, men have NO PROBLEM with fucking women who are below them in the dating hierarchy, so long as a relationship isn’t demanded and a child doesn’t result. As long as a relationship or chance of child are requirements, men generally won’t consider women who are under them, and women won’t go for men who are too far out of their league, no matter how much of a compliment it is to be boned by someone above you.

So what happens when you remove the stigma of sluttery and cheating, and make it so that men don’t have to pay for sex with commitment?

Let’s look at it in four groups:

Naturally beautiful women who buy into hook-up culture lose out, because — having squandered their beauty by spending their youth on hookups, they can no longer leverage their beauty in exchange for a relationship once their beauty has failed. Unfortunately, in the power rush of sleeping with many high status men, they don’t see the end looming until they hit their late twenties and suddenly find themselves replaced by the next wave of girls who just turned drinking age.

Less beautiful women lose out too, because their sudden access to out-of-their-league men falsely boosts their own self image, and causes them to view marriage to men on their own level as “settling.” They essentially gain five years of meaningless and unproductive sex with higher-status men in exchange for a lifetime of delusion about their actual value, and all the side effects of such delusion. Like the naturally beautiful women, they too will hit their late twenties suddenly desperate to find the attention of those higher-status men they once held so easily.

All women who play into hookup culture will generally find themselves “settling” with men they would have never considered while in their prime — and they’ll bring all the resentment that entails into the relationship.

In nearly every variation of the game, lesser status men lose almost all mating options, except for being “settled for” later in life by the still-deluded late-twenties women who’ve already spent the majority of their beauty on vicarious sex with higher-status men. As a bonus, the more self-aware of these men get to experience all the bitterness of realizing what’s going on. The singular advantage lesser status men have over the women in this game is that they can turn their plight around relatively quickly with the right kind of personal work. Even then, the ‘no-blame hook up’ culture leaves cheating as a very real danger as long as they remain at low status. For women, once the beauty is gone, nothing can bring it back.

Finally, the fourth group: high status men.

High status men (the men who have the most sexual options) generally see the number of available women skyrocket. Aside from the normal cadre of beautiful women available to them, all the other women become more willing to sleep with him too (and he with them), since he no longer has to pay with commitment and she’s convinced he owes her nothing and she faces no social backlash. He too faces a loss, though it somewhat is mitigated by all the sex: becoming jaded and cynical about women.

Also, higher status men don’t lose out in the long game either, since they can generally select any beautiful girl to settle down with at any age, with relatively little fear of hypergamy striking due to their own high status.

That upper 10–20% of men? Definite winners.

Single men with sexual options have almost no personal reason to refuse increased mating options, and men without options cannot engage in slut shaming without even further reducing their social status, leading to even fewer sexual options. In short, men have very little social power to change the situation, and the ones with the most power to make any change also have no personal reason to do so. There is ONE argument that I have examined for men to change their personal behavior, linked here.

Societally, the only way this turns around is if young beautiful women realize the lie they’ve been sold, and start making the better choice (to settle down early, using their beauty to net high-quality men), and if women as a whole start sexually policing one another and start slut-shaming the sluts. Note, this isn’t just to the benefit of the beautiful women. I wouldn’t want grand delusion fostered on anyone, and a lifetime of resentment is a hell of a price to pay for a few nights of fucking a jock.

“But slut-shaming isn’t empowe” — it isn’t empowering to go on one night stands with men and spend the next week wondering why he won’t text you back, either. Nor is it empowering to watch your marriage options slowly dry up while you bang random bartenders at the local night clubs year after year. Your most fertile years are in your 20s; why you would waste that time shagging dudes incapable of committing to a strong, wonderful relationship is beyond me.

It’s time to step up — not just for good of men, but for WOMEN. Men can always improve their lot in life with a little bit of work. Ladies, once you’ve fucked yourself into your 30s, you’re in trouble. And no amount of outrage at my saying so will change that.

Women are the sexual gate keepers, no? It’s time to start keeping the gate.


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