Three Ways to Be More Courageous in Your Marriage

One of them may surprise you.

According to Dictionary.com, the definition of courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain without fear; bravery.

That’s why we often associate firefighters, police officers or people in the military as courageous.

Dictionary.com had another definition of courage listed, but with the caveat that this particular definition was now obsolete: the heart as the source of emotion. The root of the word is cor, which in Latin means heart and is often used as a common metaphor for inner strength. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant, “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.”

For many of us, that’s facing real difficulty, danger or pain because in doing so we risk being judged, criticized or being rejected by the one person that can hurt our hearts more than any other: our spouses.

Here are three (surprising) ways to be more courageous in your marriage:

The dreaded four word: “We need to talk,” which is code for something is very wrong. No one likes to have that conversation; it’s not easy or fun. But most things of great importance are neither easy nor fun.

It’s been my experience through my coaching practice that avoiding those hard conversations and the problems that need to be discussed within a relationship doesn’t make the problems magically disappear. Instead, the problems fester beneath the surface of the relationship, causing strain, increased resentments, and disconnection between the two people involved. It causes a slow deterioration of the relationship that is subtle, but profound over time.

Most people approach these conversations from the perspective of what they want to say to their partner, but that means you enter into the discussion with an agenda that is typically one-sided. To make these difficult conversations easier and more productive, ask questions and attempt to understand the root cause of the issue. Drop the need to be right and therefore making your partner wrong. Make it a conversation based on mutual respect…

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