What do you think I need to improve on or stop doing in 2022?

Ask a counselor

This was my reply in a conversation I had with a client-friend and it applies to everybody else. You’d enjoy it:

About this, I didn’t just want to say "nothing" so it wouldn’t be like I’m not answering. I really have to sit down to find something. There’s not one big thing in front of you that wherever I see you I begin to think, "she needs to get rid of this."

But all I can say is that you should understand yourself more in 2022. Understanding yourself more will save you a lot of psychological issues and money for therapy.

We all know what is right for us from what we learn daily, and there are things you know about yourself that I don’t know need to be worked on.

Why I say understand yourself is that our bad behaviors are only problems when we can’t identify them. The moment you can identify a bad behavior and know why and when it comes up, you can be more conscious of it and easily work out a change. That’s what we help clients do in counselling.

If I list 10 things you need to change, you still won’t change them because the first step to change is acceptance. First, look inward and see those things YOU think need to be changed, then don’t hate yourself for it or try to delete them from your life.

Instead, accept "this is who I am for now and it’s ok." But you won’t stop there.

After acknowledging that’s who you are, understand WHY you do it and WHY it is comfortable for you to do it. It’s that WHY you should work on, not the behavior.

For example, if you cry to get attention, the problem is not crying but attention-seeking. Again, it’s not even attention-seeking but WHY you are seeking attention. If you find, for example, that the reason why you are seeking attention is because you think people don’t like you, that’s what you work on.... I NEED TO LIKE MYSELF AND ACCEPT WHOEVER LIKES ME AND DON’T STRESS ABOUT WHOEVER DOESN’T LIKE ME AS LONG AS I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM DISLIKE ME.

You can apply this same principle to anything. But just know that if you hate yourself because of something you are doing you don’t like, you won’t change it.

And prayer works too!🥺

I put prayer last because I studied counseling.😁

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