Wall

Remember the last time you got all anxious about meeting/having to meet someone?

There could be a million reasons —

And for whatever reason , you decided to either avoid any sort of confrontation or got really nervous about it and shat in your pants(not literally though…I hope…). It’s natural to enter into an “awkward” zone with someone if you have hit a communication barrier. It takes an axe to break the ice and usually it isn’t that hard, specially when we are younger. A smile, a joke, a shared chocolate or some other cute little gesture works out just fine.As we grow up, however, things change. Somehow these little gestures become too hard to make.Why?

Well as kids, we wear our hearts on our sleeves for we don’t know otherwise. We are innocent, naive and correct me if I am wrong to say this but more emotionally intelligent, even if so without knowing it.

We communicate better and let things go.

For example : If we fight with a friend we - shout at each other, engage in combat or cry and eventually hug it out and no matter how bad it was the next day we would be playing as if nothing ever happened.

Growing up,somewhere along the way, we forget this art of conversing and pick up the habit of piling up our feelings. And with each feeling we pile up the ice thickens until one day it’s a Wall that an axe cannot break.

You find yourself wanting to reach out to this person but you don’t find the right words, or any words at all and suddenly a warm smile seems scary for that would lead to a confrontation you aren’t ready for. This person, a normal human being, suddenly turns into this really big hype you can’t get around.

You decide to hide under the veil of excuses like not attending an event you’re both invited to or avoiding eye contact, backing it up with being preoccupied with something, or just hurriedly getting the rendezvous over with some small talk and getting away, pretending to be busy and more often then not regretting some part of it (or all of it) later.

In the process of concealing your nervousness you put up a mask of arrogance and present yourself as an snob with severe attitude problem.

The other person who, unless knows better, gets a really f’d up version of the story and forms her/his own bias based accordingly. So the next time you meet and feel like breaking the ice, you find it hard for there’s been add-ons from the other side and that makes you add a double amount from yours and this goes on and forms a really solid Wall.

We build these Walls to protect us when we feel vulnerable, so we don’t end up getting sick or getting bruised and hurting ourselves. What we don’t realize is that we are also blocking away sunlight and fresh air and that too leads to several kinds of illnesses.

Maybe we need Walls to some extend, for the adult world to function in harmony .However, we need to make sure they don’t become soo tall and thick that we can’t even find a way through, let alone break them.

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